Think Very Little of Yourself?

psychotherapy can help you with low self-esteem

Do you have low self-esteem?

Comparing – Do you always tend to compare yourself to others negatively and feel that you’ll never measure up. Having low self-esteem can mean experiencing:
Self Loathing – you hate being yourself, punish yourself relentlessly for even small mistakes, see yourself as useless or worthless;
Perfectionism – nothing you do is ever good enough, there is never a sense of satisfaction at a job well done, cannot accept compliments;
Poor Body Image – always find something wrong with your body, compare your body unfavourably, feel self-conscious, self neglect;
Too Sensitive – any criticism feels like a dangerous attack, short-tempered and touchy with co-workers, always worried about what others think;
Eager to Please – you’ll do anything for approval, always put others first, it feels dangerous to say “no”, end up feeling like a doormat;
Need to Shop – addicted to material possessions, must have the best even when you don’t need it, always feel that other people have more than you.

If you’re struggling with low self-esteem counselling can help you develop a sense of self-worth that doesn’t depend on comparing yourself to others. Make an appointment to see me in my central London consulting room.

What is low self-esteem?

To have healthy self-esteem does not mean being full of yourself; it means having a realistic assessment of your strengths and weaknesses and still being able to like yourself for who you are. Having low self-esteem is having a negative attitude towards yourself, so that even when you do something well, you find a way to rubbish it. Even people who seem outwardly successful can suffer from low self-esteem.
When a child has parents (or guardians) who values her and gives her positive affirmation, irrespective of achievements, a sense of positive self-esteem gradually builds up inside until it doesn’t depend on others to maintain it. When parents are inconsistent or consistently negative, the child’s sense of self-esteem never becomes independent and is most often negative.
Low self-esteem can also be brought on by other traumatic events such as a divorce, redundancy, racial or sexual abuse, bullying, and other experiences where you are made to feel powerless.
There are some simple techniques that can help you to bolster your self-esteem; see some of the articles listed below in “Further Reading”. However, while self-affirmation techniques may get you out of a slump, counselling or psychotherapy will help you get to the root of your self-esteem issues.
If you’re struggling with low self-esteem counselling can help you develop a sense of self-worth that doesn’t depend on comparing yourself to others. Make an appointment to see me in my central London consulting room.

How psychotherapy helps with low self-esteem

In counselling we’ll explore the patterns and beliefs (often unconscious) which undermine your self-esteem. The impartial perspective of a counselor will help you to see where your view of yourself is not based on reality but on your own negative assumptions. We’ll consider your past life, including your childhood to see where negative self evaluation might have taken root and have been reinforced; this will lead on to considering new ways of seeing yourself in relation to others.
If you feel counselling could help you contact me to make an appointment to discuss your needs
Do you have other questions about counselling?

Further reading about low self-esteem

News about self-esteem

Heavy drinking, workaholism and road rage can all mask depression – The Independent

The Independent is carrying an article about the current incidence of depression in the UK. Once upon a time, England’s third richest man shocked the world by admitting he was suffering from depression. “About eight years ago I hit the buffers – it came totally out of the blue. One day, I woke up and […]

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Boosting self-esteem prevents health problems for seniors

Be nice to that old person in the mirror. http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2014-03/cu-bsp031214.php (Concordia University) The importance of boosting self-esteem is normally associated with the trials and tribulations of adolescence. But new research from Concordia University shows that it’s even more important for older adults to maintain and improve upon those confidence levels as they enter their twilight […]

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ScienceDaily – TV Viewing Can Decrease Self-Esteem in Children, Except White Boys

ScienceDaily – May 30, 2012 has a story that reminds us that individual psychotherapy must bear in mind the social context when dealing with some issues that bother an individual patient. If you are a white girl, a black girl or a black boy, exposure to today’s electronic media in the long run tends to […]

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Kids with Emotional Problems Risk Adult Obesity | Psych Central News

Comfort eating is a phenomenon we’re all familiar with –  eating as an attempt make up for an emotional deficit. Some recent research seems to show that comfort eating can be a long-term activity in response to childhood emotional suffering. Researchers know that people what are overweight or obese often have low self-esteem and emotional […]

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Study Shows Casual Sex Not Damaging for Mental Health « eFitnessNow

Commonly casual sexual encounters are taken to be at best “meaningless” at worst harmful to self-esteem. A study based on interviews with 1300 young adults has found that on the contrary casual sexual encounters do not evoke feelings of meaninglessness and low self-esteem. Casual sexual encounters are actually found to bolster mental health  in some […]

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